Percussionist and Energy Manipulation

It only takes a single word to describe this man, DANGEROUS! I know the next question you're about to ask is "how the hell did he get in the band?" Well, let me explain.

It all began on a bright and glorious day in Seattle around November 30th, 2001. Through the purple haze of tear gas and the throbbing roar of the protesters, one man, just released from the Valley Medical Psych Ward after treatment for a God Complex and simulating a hit on one of his enemies with a paintball gun, stood out to Clark Chaos in the crowd almost as if, this person's image was encrypted into his brain. Was this person Chaos saw spray painting anti-corporate slogans on the front wall of Starbucks? No. Was he standing in the front lines, face to face with police risking life, limb and freedom? No. Was he supporting the police in suppressing over-zealous demonstrators out of control? No.

 This guy, was standing between the cops and protesters, dressed in military clothing complete with facepaint and all, relishing the chaos and confusion, encouraging the protesters to violence, antagonizing the cops to wage war, preaching the dangers of sugar, and waiting for the rocks and bullets to fly! He was also, talking to his laptop computer,  sipping de-ionized water to keep his bodily fluids pure, enjoying a tasty MRI, cleaning his trusty paint gun (between his legs) that he calls "The Greaser!" and laughing his ass off the entire time.

When you see him at a show, don't ever tell him that his performance sucks, even if it did. The band highly recommends embellishment and out-right lies at how wonderful he is, how he's made the band from mediocre to great, and that he's a better "percussionist" (for God's sake and your own, don't say drummer, trust us!) than Neil Pert and Gene Hoglan.